Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Beginning of a New World...

Ten months... WOW! Has life been a roller coaster ride... I mean, Life is always a roller coaster ride, IF one really stops and analyzes every twist and turn it takes... One minute I am a mother of four beautiful children, the next I am kissing my baby boy's cheek for the last time... One minute we are working with the bank to have our mortgage lowered to one we can afford, as I am unable to work and collecting SSD & SSI (only half the time because of John's income)... The next we are being forced to "Short Sale" our home in lieu of foreclosure; all thanks to Wells Fargo messing around losing paperwork and doing what they do best "setting people up to fail!" One minute in this ten month period, I am a grandmother of two, the next I have three... I am only able to see the two by my eldest son because My granddaughter by my deceased son, for some unknown reason I am not allowed to see... One minute my baby girl is a just senior in high school and the next we are preparing for her graduation... One minute my husband is cruising along, minding his own business, doing his job diligently, shoveling the steps at work... The next he is on his butt, hurting, having to go to the doctor, the neurosurgeon, and having to have back surgery... UGH!

Not complaining, because We can handle this all as a family unit... All this you would think would make a family crazy... It almost did drive my husband crazy, but I had to get stern with him and remind him "A House does not a HOME make... It is the PEOPLE inside it that makes the House a HOME!!!" I also had to remind him that I am not one of THOSE women who is going to "jump ship" just because times are tough... When times get TOUGH, the TOUGH get TOUGHER!!! I am here with him for the long haul... I didn't say my wedding vows for the fun of it... I took them to heart... When I stated "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us do part..." I meant it with ALL my HEART and SOUL!!! Besides my babies that I carried in MY BODY for 9 months, He is the only other person in this world that I would devote my life to - besides God; but he isn't a person, he is a Spiritual entity...

With Angie going to graduate soon, I am beginning to feel that empty nest syndrome... Even though when she spends the night somewhere else, she can not sleep and is miserable... In August she will be 18 years old, I can not hold her to her word that she will always want to stay with us... Eventually she will want to spread her wings and fly... I am willing to allow her to do so... I have been preparing for this day for a long time now, but I still get that empty feeling inside at the thought of it... She did a report in school about MS which scared her... I don't want that fear to tether her here with her Dad and I. I want nothing more for my baby girl than to be happy, to spread her beautiful wings, and FLY... She deserves nothing but the BEST out of this life... Out of all the turmoil we have suffered through as a family, the fight through the depression of losing her beloved brother Micheal, and all the other crap she has dealt with - with Such maturity, I can only pray that my beautiful little Angel knows just how PROUD I/ WE are of her! That we only want the extreme best for her as she deserves it - more so than ANY OTHER kid her age I know!!!

Our Angelia, as perfect of a daughter anyone could ask for... Granted she has had her times, but you couldn't want for a better child than her... She has completed 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th grade classes that she needed to graduate in 2 years!!! Yes, I said 2 (TWO) YEARS!!! She had an after-school job working on a horse ranch; which she loves immensely! Learning how to ride, train, birth, and breed horses... She may have had boyfriends throughout this period of time, but she was a good girl; keeping that preverbal aspirin between her knees... She knows what she wants... Her goals firmly ingrained in her mind... She clung to them like they are the most precious things in the world (her goals)... Knowing full well, one false step can throw all her goals and dreams fervently right out the window... No drugs, No smoking, No drinking underage, no sexual explorations, nothing but school, work, home, and just having fun being a "goodie two-shoes" teen-ager... At least I am thankful for one thing, She may be a "goodie two-shoes" teen-ager, but she does have good friends... She has made the right choices... We must have done something right with her like her elder sister... She is at the threshold of a bright and wonderful New World... One of a Young beautiful responsible adult with goals and dreams that she is more than capable of accomplishing!!! Her Daddy and "Momma Mia" will be standing right behind her offering her all the support and guidance she needs to remain the confident young lady we raised to obtain those goals and dreams...

Even though this New World will be different, change can be a good thing... John and I will be okay... I know that... We have each other... We have Krissy; who has disabilities of her own and can not move out on her own without support... That in itself is a whole other story...