HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! I guess my body has been building up it's surprise for me... Here it is 1:11 am and I am wide awake - AGAIN... It is the 6th time since my last blog posting - what St. Patrick's day? That I have had a sleepless night... I don't know whether it is because of spring fever, I know warm weather is on it's way and I can't wait for that - OR, if it is because of the stupid muscle that runs up the side of your shin that has been spastic and the muscle on my shoulder that has been spastic (almost feels like an unborn child kicking in a woman's womb) that makes my whole right arm tingle like lightning! These two muscles are getting on my last nerve and are about ready to put me in the nut house... My family is patient with me, but I have been awful nasty with them... Very short tempered, and I don't mean it at all... My legs haven't wanted to work, they feel more like jello than anything - and I am at wits end with this whole mess!!! I have absolutely no patience with myself nor the way my body wants to act... I am so tired of sitting all the time because I am too afraid to walk because I am too afraid to fall down AGAIN... I fell a few days ago, didn't even have enough warning to reach out for anything... Then I didn't have enough strength in my legs or arms to pull myself back up to a standing position where I was at, so I had to crawl on my hands and knees like a baby through the kitchen out to the living room to and on to the couch... How embarrassing - 41 years old and have to crawl like a baby!!! I was mortified!!! No one was here to help me... My husband was at work... My eldest son was out recruiting for the company he works for... My girls were out walking the dog... My youngest son isn't living at home right now - long story... And Courtney, well she took off with Scotty somewhere, I don't know where, after the girls had left with Bear... Needless to say, I was alone... Something, that I should not have been... I really hurt my tail bone, and it is still hard to sit straight up... BUT, life goes on doesn't it??? I am not Courtney's responsibility, but she should have let me know she was leaving... I would have taken precautions IF I would have known I was going to be alone... John was not a happy camper when he found out I fell, neither were the girls... I just look at it like - oh well shit happens doesn't it?
Anyway, my ear infection seems to be all healed now - wonderful!!! I just wish I knew why it is that I spend so many sleepless nights... I am always in so much pain, but the medication that I am given for the pain, well... Besides me not wanting to take it because of it being addictive - Percocets, they make just don't seem to help... Not to mention, I feel like I drank a gallon of cappuccino!!! Holy Cow, if anyone remembers Beavis and Butthead from MTV - Let me tell you what, I am WORSE than Butthead on Cappuccino!!! If I take those prescribed Percocets!!! It is horrible!!! Not to mention, they make me feel like my skin is crawling - I start itching like crazy!!! I don't break out in hives or anything so it isn't a true allergic reaction... It is just that, it's like my skin drys out and starts itching because it is like a dry skin itch; as soon as I put lotion on, the itching goes away... Weird isn't it??? It has to be because it is an opiate or something... This brings me to something else...
I was watching Dr. Oz on Tuesday I think it was... Montel Williams was on and they were debating on whether or not marijuana should be legalized for medicinal purposes... Why and what does Montel Williams have to do with it? You ask... For those who do not know, Montel Williams also has MS and uses marijuana to control his symptoms - the chronic pain, muscle spasms, sleepless nights, etc... Interestingly enough to me, 15 states already allow for medicinal marijuana and 12 more have started legislation to allow for it... Montel said that if it wasn't for the marijuana, he wouldn't be able to be a productive member of society... It has given him his life back and his ability to do things that he was losing very quickly... I can sympathize with him there and know exactly what he means... I have lost so much already since 2007 when I first started noticing the symptoms and the long road to finding out what was wrong with me... I had specialists more or less telling me it was all in my mind; that there wasn't anything wrong with me... Well BULL SHIT!!! There was something wrong with me, I know what MY BODY WAS telling me... Thank God Dr. Scott listened to me and KNEW I wasn't full of shit!!! I wish Pennsylvania would allow for doctor's to write prescriptions for marijuana... Granted that isn't how it is done, but if they would allow for it - they should have to write prescriptions for it just like the do for any other drug - Morphine, Percocets, Vicodine, Oxicodone, or what ever else doctors can prescribe for us... It should be gotten right from a pharmacy... Cocaine used to be used as a medication as well... Sigmund Freud came across it and was actually the first to apply it in psychiatric practice for depression - and became addicted to it as well... it is a true fact!!! Now, go figure, It is an illegal drug!!! BUT, there are medications that are given to children (and adults) that are a derivative of this - Ritalin - to "help them concentrate." I have been doing a lot of research lately on the subject, and frankly I would have to concur with Montel... I really wish something was out there that would help... Yes, I know let me hear it... Let me hear all the governmental scare tactics that have been spewn into our brains for the last 40 + years... I know them all!!! However, I thank God that I have a father like mine... He teaches the truth about things - not scare tactics... When it came to the drugs & alcohol talks when I was a teen, He gave me the statistics, information, and let me come to my own conclusions about things - hence teaching me the truth NOT bull shit scare tactics... I never tried drugs OR drank under age because he gave me the information and statistics... All I can say is, Thanks Dad for educating me the right way about things like this...
So, Lets see... There are two drugs - possibly three I could quit taking IF marijuana was legalized for medicinal purposes... Hello, maybe even all four!!! Since it is supposed to help with migraines as well... So that would actually be six medications I wouldn't have to take any more!!! Holy jumping Jehoshaphats!!! Wouldn't that just be the cat's meow!!! No more Neurontin 300 or 600! No more Percocets! No more Flexeril! No more Topamax! No more Promethazine! No more Imitrex! That would just be wonderful!!! Ugh, I guess I will keep dreaming and keep taking my medicine... Taking the risks that are associated with taking these medications, what ever they may be... Until the time comes...
I know this is a hot button issue, but it is one that needs to be addressed... We live with so much crap - don't we deserve to be pain free - muscle spasm free WITHOUT having to worry about other medical complications from the medications that we are prescribed to alleviate the symptoms we suffer each and every single day??? Our treatments - Copaxone and Avonex just to name a couple - to keep the MS at bay or in remission are enough... Do we really need to have to worry about other meds causing us complications too, just so we can live some semblance of a normal life??? I think not!!! Marijuana can be made into teas, drinks, foods, or vaporized (like as in a nebulizor) and are just as effective as if it were smoked... So, why not try it? I am game, but then again I smoke cigarettes... My one and only vice in this world... Yes, it was my choice even after reading the literature my father gave me... I am so sick of taking all these damn pills on top of this shot every week!!! It is bad enough I have to take my thyroid pill every day, but having to take pills three times a day - four times on Thursdays - is getting on my nerves... I hate it!!! I am so sick of it!!! I am even sicker of choking on the damn things - aspirating on them...
Well, I am done for this early morning... I hope that y'all who read this understand where I am coming from and post comments about how you feel on the subject...
Hugs and Blessings
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