March 9, 2011

Well so much for my birthday present from John... He got me a nice new phone, but guess what - can't use it because stupid AT&T doesn't supply cell service in our little area called Elkland... Of course not... So, after 3 days of trying to figure it out - on and off the phone with tech support - and I am talking about hours of being on the phone with them - I finally found out... UGH, I am so fed up and frustrated that I sent the damn thing back to the company... NOW it is a whole new set of challenges... My frustration level is at maximum capacity and John is afraid that I am going to have a relapse because I am shaking and my hands are all tingly and going numb... WTF???

So, being frustrated after following all the instructions, I called tech support again... FINALLY, I got someone who actually spoke without an accent, I could understand, and they could understand me!!! I was so tickled I almost started crying!!! My frustration level is so high that I already have a tension migraine and feel like I want to cry... I told this young gentleman named Christian, that I was so happy that I could understand what he was saying and that my frustration was so high that I could cry!!! I just isn't funny any more... No one was explaining things to me, and if they were - I just couldn't understand what they were saying to me, and it isn't like I wasn't trying to... Okay, these two paragraphs make me seem like I am a total heel or prejudice - TRUST me, I am not either... I am not that type of person, and I believe that ALL are created equal - no matter what... All people are my brothers and sisters!!! We ARE ALL HUMANS by the way... But, I don't like it when I can't understand what someone is saying to me over the phone and I have to keep asking them to repeat themselves... It isn't fair to them and makes me feel like I am an asshole for doing it... Or if I have to keep repeating myself - I feel like an asshole because I feel like I am not explaining myself good enough for them to get it... It isn't a matter of prejudice, it is a matter of communication issues on my part... Now I feel like an asshole for even writing this, but it is a matter of clarifying...

So, off of this for now before I make myself feel even worse about today than I already do... My cold is getting better I think - maybe not... My ears hurt like hell, but I don't know if it is because of infection or if it is because of something else... My left ear feels like there is water in it or something... It is really weird - and feels like it is trying to drain when I am laying on it or I tilt my head to the left... My right ear is starting to feel that way... I am thinking I better be thinking about getting to the doctor if they don't start feeling any better soon... It is really starting to drive me nuts!!!

Monday, the gentleman from the Scooter store was here to measure me for a power chair... The physical therapist that came with him was really nice to me and thinks that the power chair was a really good idea... I don't know about that... I am not sure that I like the idea that I am going to have to use a power chair once and a while to get around... That is kind of a sobering thought to me... Kinda hits home if you know what I mean... I knew eventually this would happen, but not so soon... I am going to continue to fight the good fight and push as far and as long as I can, but IF I have to I will use the power chair... I don't like having to be reliant on the kids and John when I am having a bad day to get around... I don't know... I just don't like the idea of it...