Thursday, October 25, 2012

Stress and MS does not for good bed fellows make...

When watching Forrest Gump he stated "My Momma always told me 'Life is like a box of chocolates... You never know whatcha ya gonna git...'" Well, that dear Forrest is an understatement!!! Life can throw you a bunch of curve balls that cause you all kinds of stress... God blesses you with 4 beautiful children that you hope and pray will grow up normal, healthy, and wise... Only to find out when one is 4 she will never be "normal" and one has all kinds of behavioral issues - his choices seem to be the worse possible choices EVER... ALL of which cause you stress... Then of course there are the normal every day operating procedures of Life - bills, lay offs, bills, new job, not enough money, bills, household appliance break downs, over due bills, health issues, more over due bills... UGH, it never ends... It seems like the more we try to get ahead the further we fall behind due to one reason or another... Okay, this deserves further explanation... Lets start with the son with behavioral issues - STRESS!!!

My son at 17 got a young lady pregnant... Accepting responsibility for his child, he married the girl with my "blessings" - well, under extreme pressure from them both... They kept pressuring me to sign the papers for them to get married, so I did... Allowed this girl to move into OUR home... Dealt with her disrespecting me by not helping out around the house or by keeping their room clean... I dealt with all the BS of her turning off my son's alarm clock so he was not up and getting ready for school... I dealt with his disrespecting me about going to school and having 4 - YES 4 tobacco in school charges against him... I dealt with him telling me I had no right to discipline him for his bad behavior, disrespect, and not helping out with chores...

*** Note: This blog was started a few months ago... Now that Micheal has committed suicide this blog seems like a mute point to make, but I am going to post it anyway... Maybe it will help me to make some sense of why he decided to commit suicide... I don't think anything will ever help me to make sense of it... Micheal was my most difficult child behaviorally, but he was also a blessing... He was special... Maybe I took him for granted... Maybe I did try to change his behavior, but that is a parent's job; isn't it??? I did love my Micheal, with all my heart... Just like his brother and his sisters... I love them each in their own special way... Each of my children are my favorite for their own special reason... Micheal was my favorite because he had a heart of gold and took my teaching of the "Golden Rule" to heart and lived by it 110%... I don't think I will ever understand why, but maybe my blogging will help someone else...

Forgive me if my blogs are not of my life with MS for a while and now concentrate on this subject for a while... But I am using this as a tool to help me - personally - cope with what has happened... Maybe I can help someone else as well in the meantime...

Hugs <3

No comments:

Post a Comment