This beginning of life and a visits from our grandson Scotty are the pleasant reminders and reasons why I need to continue with treatment each week... Even when I am starting to feel like the treatment isn't working anymore... I have had some weird and scary developments over the last couple months that I have just pushed off to the sidelines... I am not sure if anyone else has experienced these or not... I know I am scared shitless for the lack of a better example... Let me explain...
Development 1: vibrations that last all day long... I feel like I am literally standing on a washer that is on spin cycle and spinning like a bat out of hell OR I am standing right beside a jack hammer that is constantly running vibrating the whole area where I am... VIBRATING is the only way to explain how my body feels because it feels like if you put your hands on top of a running spin cycle washer...
Development 2: this is the most scary... At night, if by chance I roll onto my back, I can not get up out of bed by myself in the morning... I can not use my legs because I can not make them move... It is like my all the muscles in my lower back has seized up, freezing the muscles in my legs as well... I have to have my husband help me to sit up and swing my legs off the side of the bed then stand up and start walking... Once I am up and started going, I am okay and am able to maneuver the floor and stairs by myself... It is still scary though... I don't like not being able to get up by myself... I am an independent person... I realize it is okay to ask for help, but I would rather do for myself... It takes forever to get going in the morning because of it... It really drives me NUTS!!! It is like my body is giving up on my mind and soul... I can't figure it out!!! Especially when I am doing what I have been told to do by my doctors!!!
Hey Momma just stopping in to say i love you!
ReplyDelete